Hey les boys!

So just sitting here on a nice queit Friday night, killing Sister’s of Battle in Soulstorm, and reflecting on the craziness of the past week and more. Seemed like a good time to take a second and kind of pull out a Carl-esque blog post. Had some things i’ve wanted to catch you guys up on for the last few days, but just have not had the time.

To start, i guess i will open big, Angie and i broke up last Saturday.  It wasn’t too pretty and it was all rather spur of the moment. Monday though we sat back down and talked for about 3 hours and have ended it all on good terms. In fact i would say our friendship is much stronger for it, but whether we get back together in the future is very uncertain. The reasons behind this split was pretty much my doing, in the sense that i had lost that connection we shared. I came to love her more as a sister and friend then as a girlfriend or potential wife. Other reasons being stress. The relationship was causing me so much stress, on top of school and work, that i was burning out.  Burning out fast. So it was the best move so as not to cause each other more harm further down. You cannot have a healthy relationship if one person is holding back and i had been holding back and drifting out of this relationship for the last two months. So it was time to call it.

That being said i am staying positive. My stress levels have already shot down a fair amount and things are getting easier. Thank god i have no school next week, it could not have come at a better time. School has been going great so far, i think i am really finding my niche with this product photography thing. It may not be what i want to do exactly, but i am enjoying it thouroughly. The only difficult aspects are the 16 hour days when i have class and keeping on top of my assignments. That was why i had to miss the last D&D session. I was so close to not getting my last assignment done due to everything else going on i really had to focus on it.  That was very stressful.  Managed to get it done though and i think i did good on it. I am hoping to get head of the game next week by completing as many of my up coming assignments as i possibly can.

My Mom has not been helping matters much either. It’s sad it has taken me this long to do it, but hopefully in the next couple of weeks she will be living at a rehab center. There is one 45 minutes away from Montreal, it’s a 3-4 month program from what i understand. We are hoping she will go willingly, if not, then it all depends on how much flexibility i have to forcefully enroll her.

I have been renovating the house, the basement is looking pretty darn good these days. not 100% done yet though. The floor is in, i just need to finish patching the walls and paint. then is tart the upstairs. Everyone that comes over now is amazed by how fresh the basement smells and feels now. I am sorry for all the times you guys spent the weekend in there before, but next time you guys are over it will knock your socks off! I am hoping to buy the house from my mom after the summer or earlier if i can.

Work has been getting better. Still not the greatest thing ever but it is manageable. i already have a lot of plans now though for what i will be doing in the near future. I may have to stay at Pharmaprix a few extra months but i can bare it. Not too sound like an ass but for the last little while there has been a girl at work i had a thing for, turns out she has also had a thing for me too. In the near future we are going to be meeting up for drinks or maybe even dinner. I don’t want that to sound cold, just having split from Angie a week ago, but i gotta keep things rolling or else i may come down off this positive track i am riding and crash hard. I gotta take the opportunities when i can and see where things lead me. Besides, it’s just drinks or dinner not like i am saying i am going out with her right away. I would never want to hurt anyone on a rebound hook up. Guess i still just have to try and convince myself it’s ok and not feel like a complete bastard.

Guess those are the major highlights right now. Got some pipe dreams me and the brother in-law are kicking around. Might be helping them a bit with their potential new side business for some extra cash. Looking forwad to finally finishing the paint work on my Warhammer army so i can finally buy my command squad and atleast be able to field my army. Small as it is. Don’t worry Curt, i see us duking it out by the summer. I’ll take a week off work and come down for a few days with the army. We can butcher each other to our hearts content. We should mark that on a calendar!

Felt good to vent/rant/blog about the last little while, didn’t seem like so much was going on until i wrote it all down. Even then i am sure i am still missing some things!

Now i am heading back to kicking the sisters of battle’s asses with my underdogs! Hoo-Ah!

5 thoughts on “Hey les boys!”

  1. It always helps to vocalize things to put them into perspective and get them off your chest, if even just to write them down. I guess that’s why people keep diaries and write blogs.

    I’ve not got nearly as much to report, myself. Been getting back into the swing of things at work after the holidays (yes, still), which has been difficult. I think I need a few months off, or something. At least when I had my review recently they said they love having me aboard and are very impressed with my work. I guess after being brow-beaten for so many years at a job it’s tough to have self-confidence, so these sorts of compliments are very alien to me.

    I’m very much looking forward to the end of winter. I’m so very sick of this damned weather. It’s -35 with the wind-chill today! That’s insane!

    And I agree, it’ll be awesome to battle one another at long last. I still need to finish my army, though it’s been tough to find the time, I really want to get to it soon. Maybe next weekend I’ll start. My mom was telling me about this magnifying glass lamp thing they saw at Lowe’s, so I might check that out.

  2. I wanted to get one of those magnifying lamps since i started painting my miniatures. I find it can be a real strain on my eyes, especially since most of my painting is done at night. Maybe i’ll do some painting tonight while i watch Death Race on Blu-Ray.

    but yes, i don’t do it as often as i need to or should do. But talking about things or even writing them down helps a lot. I think that was why i was feeling so stressed. At times i didn’t have the time to talk about things, or just did not know how. That is the worst way to feel. It makes you feel very alone, even though your not.

  3. Glad things mended for you on that. Despite the gloominess of it all it you have a positive from it being stronger friendship and potential. I know me and Marie have gone through the tests and we hit lots of lows and on a high right now but were cautious still. It’s definitely not an easy thing whether your married or not. And yes it can cause lots of stress. But the important thing is keep pushing through it all and sometimes you come out better then before.

    Right now I am going to be seeing a doctor. I’m pretty much at a stress level of where I was when I had to take anti-depressants. Not an encouraging thought but maybe needed for awhile. Because it’s causing hypertension which is turn is raising my blood pressure which is now always fun and can be quite dangerous. The consider me high risk with my fathers history and also strokes on my moms side. So I will be followed up soon on it. So only time will tell if it’s just another stress episode or what. Thing is I am in a more positive mindset then I have been. But having done counseling / therapy stress is often a subconscious beast that sits there. My boss though is good as I mentioned there might be some trouble on the horizon. He was good enough to relate that he had similar problems and ended up being high blood pressure which he takes medication. I have been very lucky with the job understanding everything from the counseling to now this.

    I have been looking to do some Warhammer figures as well. just need a good setup as now with Lucas on the move it’s not exactly good to do it and drop a piece as we all know where it will end up. So trying to figure out a suitable location in the house to do it. I figure the basement but really thats just dark and not comfortable at the moment.

  4. I think the best thing anyone can do in life is to try and maintain a positive attitude. It’s tough, sometimes, but if you can manage it, it makes everything easier across the board. So, I’m glad to hear you’re staying positive, even if you might be very stressed lately, Carl.

    Something like miniatures can be somewhat therapeutic. It’s something that you can accomplish with visible results, in a reasonable amount of time, and without requiring too much in the way of skill to end up with something you can be proud of. The difficult part is forcing yourself to make time to do it, which is a problem I’m having as well. So, I took the time on Monday, and being that I was essentially snowed-in, I made it a point of doing some painting last night as well, even though I didn’t really feel like doing it at first. But afterward I felt relaxed and proud of what progress I was making and I look forward to painting again.

    D&D is also really good for this, I find. Even though it can be nerve-wracking leading up to the game as a DM (performance anxiety and such), it’s such a good experience 9 times out of 10 that I’m glad I make the time to do it.

    I find that video games and movies, as much as I love them, don’t have the same effect usually. Those are more of a “shut off for awhile” thing, which oddly enough isn’t quite as re-energizing as playing D&D or painting miniatures.

    Of course, this is all just in my case. Your mileage may vary. 😉

    Oh, and as a possible hair-brained solution to your Lucas, thing: you could set up a little portable work-area sort of thing. Get a cardboard soft-drink tray and cut two of the corners on one of the long sides so it becomes a flap that you can fold down. Now you’ve got an “arena” kind of thing that keeps bits together. Obviously, you’d still have to be careful that nothing gets past you on the folded-down side, but it’s still better than just doing it all on the table top and letting all the bits bounce about. Just a thought.

  5. Today was a hard day for me to be positive. Still having trouble setting up a time for when i will be having coffee (or hot chocolate in my case) with that co-worker, Stephanie. May be on Monday or Wednesday next week. So i will let you know if i will make it for D&D next week if we plan on doing it Wednesday. I guess what adds a little more stress to this also is that she is kind of seeing someone else. Nothing can ever be easy for me. She admitted that it was not anything serious, nothing official, but it was going well. So all i can do is hold on to a night of coffee and see what happens from there.

    Atleast i left work a little early today. I had a little overtime logged, and since they won’t pay it i just said i’m leaving early today. Balances out in the end.

    I painted a bit last night and it was very helpful. It really is therapeutic. I just wish i had better lighting in my house. I only did an hour because it was getting hard to see. But they are more done now then the day before.

    I guess it is all really hitting me now that Angie and i aren’t together anymore. It’s hard to go out there and face the world when someone who has been in your life for almost two years is not going to be there all the time anymore. Part of me is freaking out, but i know that it was the right thing. I know i can survive just about anything (emotionally anyways, not sure about physically yet :wink:) so i will survive this, but it still sucks.

    Hey Carl, if you want to hang out sometime let me know. I was thinking i may go hit a movie this weekend. Not sure what, but just anything to get out. Let me know if your interested.

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